Don't Tell Me
by Shiroi Ryuu
Summary: The last chapter: Van and Hitomi talk about life's philosophy when Merle starts to have a new love interest. *snicker*
1. Default Chapter

Don't Tell Me  
by White Dragon  
  
Chapter 1  
Summer Days  
  
Van, Merle and I were sitting in the stable that hot summer day. Everything was dry and humid. Van had sweat beads on his forehead. Merle was fanning herself with a big leaf. I threw my blazer aside and untied the ribbon of my uniform. I was sweating just as Van and Merle did.   
  
"Agh! Why is it soo hot?" Merle cried, her arms limp form fanning herself. Van removed his red shirt, which was wet with his perspiration. "This must be the hottest summer in my life!" I stood up from the hay and went out the stable door. "Do you have a beach in here? I WANT TO SOAK!" I yelled, my voice echoeing towards the barren plains.   
  
Van seized my idea. "Hey," he went beside me. "There IS a beach here somewhere... uh, I mean, waterfalls." he grinned. Merle jumped up excitedly, throwing her leaf down the floor. "C'mon! Let's go for a swim! I think I should melt ANY minute now!" she clung to Van's sweaty body. "Ew, Lord Van, you really need a swim!" I laughed. "Yeah, so maybe we should go now, and--" Then I remembered something. "I don't have a swimsuit!" Van looked at me strangely. "A-- what?" I paced up and down. "A swimsuit! Clothes to swim in! I mean, duh! Do you mean I'll swim with my clothes on?"   
  
Van looked confused. "Of course you won't!" he began. "I mean, people here swim naked and--"  
  
My eyes widened. "WHAAT!?"   
  
Merle nodded in agreement. "Yup, we SURE swim naked. Why, Hitomi? You afraid to show your bod to Lord Van?" she looked silly.  
  
I flushed red. "I'm not! It's just that it's different in the Mystic Moon! We think totally DIFFERENT!" I glanced at Van, who was turning red also. Then he spoke quietly. "Merle, I guess you did cast up to her a little bit." He turned to me. "You can swim in your clothes, if you want. I guess your world is really different from ours,"   
  
I sighed. "I guess." Van walked ahead. "So that's setled. Let's go!"  
  
We walked on for quite a good while. I was already jumpy and itching to get in the water. When we reached the upstream, Van began to take off his pants. I squeezed my eyes shut. I peeked from the slits of my fingers-- Van was actually naked! He was waving to Merle. "Hey, I'm gonna jump! See you downstream!" With that, he jumped off the cliff. "YAHOOO!" A splash followed. I looked down and saw Van rubbing off the water from his face. Merle followed suit, (but she still wore her clothes) screaming, "LORD VAAN!" She hit the water with a great splash.  
  
Now, I was the only one left upstream. What should I do? Swim in my uniform? Then I remembered-- I actually have a swimsuit in my duffel bag! Then I slapped myself. I had left it in Millerna's castle.   
  
Van's voice rose above the water. "Hitomi! Jump off! Now!"  
  
I removed my shoes and socks, careful to leave them dry. I stepped back a few paces. Running tothe tip of the cliff, I jumped... high. I thought I almost beat the track record at school.   
  
I shut my eyes as I hit the water. Van and Merle's voices were laughing. When I opened my eyes, Van slapped me at the back. "Great jump, Hitomi!" I looked at him with a smile. "Thanks." Merle was babbling in the water. Van swam a backstroke, and I tried hard focusing myself on his face. I won't look down, I reminded myself. I was in trance when Van splashed water in my face. "What are you thinking about?"  
  
"Uh- nothing." I stared at Van's chest, and my heart beat faster. Van gave me a litte squeeze. "Is it Allen?" I shook my head. "No... I was just thinking of home." Van circled me. "Do you want to go home?" His voice sounded far away.   
  
"My brother and I-- used to have times like this." I blurted out. Somehow, it was not the reason.  
  
Van gave me a big, tight hug. "D'you want me to be your brother-- just for this time?" He hugged me so tight I felt squished. But it did felt nice to feel Van's arms around me. "Okay." I said quietly.  
  
Merle swam over to us. "Heyy-- what are you two doing?" she said, a hint of malice in her voice. I quickly pulled myself away from him. "It's none of your business!"  
  
Merle had asked me this rhetorical question again: WHICH DO YOU LIKE BEST, VAN OR ALLEN?  
  
Van and I reddened, but I decided to be sarcastic. "I like Van better than Allen, you know. So he's mine!" I put my arms around Van. Van blushed all the more.   
  
Merle's eyes widened. I decided to continue. "I LOVE VAN, SO DON'T YOU DARE COME NEAR HIM!" Van was actually ready to explode like a tomato. Then I did what I never dreamed of-- I kissed him. On the cheek, of course.   
  
"Ooh!" Merle looked ready to cry. Van was shaking and blushing harder than I thought possible.   
  
I looked at their faces and laughed. "Hey, chill out! That was only a joke!"   
  
Van looked kinda disappointed and Merle breathed a sigh of relief.   
  
Once they got out of their shock, they went after me, splashing water in my face. But deep inside, I thought: DON'T I REALLY MEAN IT?  
  
***  
  
The sun had set. I was dripping wet and sunburnt to a crisp. Van and Merle walked beside me. I had my tired arm around Van's shoulder. He was surprised at first, but then, he put his arms around my waist and leaned his head on my hair. Merle looked up in the glowing orange sky. "I wish everybody is happy like just as we are."  
  
"Amen to that, amigo."  
  
*OWARI*  
  
___  
Authoress' Note:  
  
Heheheeh! I was all out of sorts when I wrote this story. I was listening to 'Sobakasu' on my Winamp player-- what could I do? The song was catchy! There are more chapters coming, but right now... I'm going to fry fish for lunch! JA NE, minna! 


	2. Confusions

  
DON'T TELL ME  
  
  
  
"How can I forget?"  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 2: Confusions   
  
  
  
The day was warm and the wind was cool. It made a perfect weather that hot sunny day. Van and I were taking a walk in the forest, the trees making shadows on the brown ground. I was wearing a tight- fitting blue shirt and denim cutoffs, the only extra outfit I had with me since I left Earth. Yesterday's swimming trip was still awake to my senses, and the feel of Van's skin against my lips was still there. It was impossible not to flush red whenever I look into his eyes right now. I stole a glance at Van, who was staring right ahead. He seemed focused on the forest's view than with us... wait a minute, US? What am I thinking?   
  
Van must have noticed me looking at him, so his eyes flew to stare at mine. I felt my cheeks grow hot, my stomach getting jumpy in the bargain. I saw his lips (which seemed to me rather tempting) turn up at the corners slightly, producing a friendly smirk. "Hey, what's the matter?"  
  
"Uh, nothing..." I mentally slapped myself. Stupid Hitomi! Why are you blushing like mad? Stupid, stupid, stupid...  
  
Van's eyes flashed with concern. "Why the long face? You look like you wanna punch somebody." he said, putting his arm around my shoulder. I gritted my teeth, not wanting to give my thoughts away. "Look, Van. It's nothing, really. I- I just remembered I have to get something from Millerna." I lied, another mental slap hitting myself in the face. What a STUPID excuse!  
  
We now reached the Fanelian- Asturian border, as we have been walking for what seemed like hours. Van craned his neck to get a better view. "See here, Hitomi," he said, removing his arm from my shoulder. "Millerna's castle is right there, just a mile ahead. You can get what you said you'll get from Millierna. Think you can walk that far?" he turned to me, his messy hair falling in fron of his eyes. I felt my heart thump louder. "Uh, yeah, well... okay."  
  
"Let's go!" Van went ahead, excited at the idea. I frowned. What was he excited for? Van stopped. Then he turned to face me. I was very close behind him, and whenhe turned about, his face was so near to mine. "Oh, sorry." his sweet breath singeing my cheeks hotly. I stepped back. "Er-- maybe we should go on now." I said, my stomach turning over, flip- flopping as I walked. I could have kissed him then... WHAT THE ZAIBACH AM I THINKING?  
  
After a long while, we had reahced the castle. We entered by the kitchen door, the maids shocked at seeing the king of Fanelia entering. The butler was immediately called, and beckoned us to Millerna's room. I was thinking of what to say when Millerna entered the room.   
  
"Oh, Van, Hitomi... how are you?" Millerna swept out her hand. "Uh, fine." I replied as Van shook her hand. Millerna motioned for us to sit. I eyed her from head to toe. She was wearing a silk lavander dress with purple amethysts on the collar. Her hair was upswept in golden coils around her head. Complete silence prevaded in the air.   
  
Millerna raised her eyebrows. "So, what brings you here?"  
  
Before I could open my mouth to answer, Van had piped in. "She said she had something to get from you!"  
  
Oh, no... I thought. Is this the weather or something else. I shot daggers at Van. He looked confused. So did Millerna.   
  
"What's that, Hitomi?" Millerna was confused considerably. Silence prevaded as a maid entered, bringing cakes and sweetened Piscuss juice in tiny glasses.   
  
I tried to think quickly. "Ah, er-- it's a girl thing, you know." Millerna's eyes dawned with intuition. She understood. "Okay... if you say so." She turned to Van. "Van, Allen's here. Maybe you could go and talk to him while Hitomi and I have some chitchat?" Van rose to go. "Okay, then. So I'll see you later, Hitomi." Then he went out the door.  
  
After Van was out of earshot, Millerna turned to me quizzically. "Another blunder?"  
  
"Yes... I guess so." I was talking fast now. "Look, it was all so strange and stupid. Yesterday, Merle, Van and I went to the Falls for a swim." Millerna nodded. "And then I had this sudden journey to memory lane, so Van asked me what was my problem. Apparently, we were SO close." I stopped, a blush rushing at my cheeks. "And... I KISSED him, 'cause Merle asked the famous 'rhetorical question'," Millerna drew closer, interest hinting her voice. "So you had this sarcastic fit wherein you..." she stopped.  
  
"Yes." I was beginning to take control of myself now. "But it was by incident. That's all,"  
  
Millerna pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Hm," she stood up and paced the room. "I think you better clear your head up with this whole idea. After all, it already happened. Nothing can change it," I stared out the window. Somehow... it seems IMPOSSIBLE.   
  
Millerna paced around the room, the sound of her high heels clicking on the wooden floor filled the air. "Well," she began. "If you don't forget the whole thing, Merle might cast it all up to you,"   
  
I sighed. Everything was just so pointless. "Okay."  
  
***  
Then after that we talked of more non- essential matters. Deep down though, I had a queer feeling that what had happened yesterday was only a beginning... OF SOMETHING ELSE. So before I went to bed that night, I wondered: OF WHAT?  
  
  
__  
A/N: This chapter is soo POINTLESS. The next chapter (i know) will be more intriguing... so stay tuned! Head's up! Ja ne, minna! 


	3. This Close

CHAPTER 3- This Close  
  
  
Late that night, the air was cool and and fresh. It stung my cheeks pleasantly as I stared out the castle balcony. The Mystic Moon hung large and majestic in the dark evening sky. I was thinking of nothing less than the Earth in front of me. Until now, it seemed to me, that it was impossible that I'm here in Gaea, so far away from everything I've ever known.  
  
The silence was intimidating, mysterious and ethereal. The coolness of the summer evening permeated my senses, letting go of everything in my heart. I felt free.  
  
I was enjoying the silence when a hand laid on my shoulder.  
  
"Hey," I turned around to find Van's eyes (wine-colored as they are) looking at me.   
  
"Oh, hi, Van. What's up?" I said, smiling. Van went to prop his elbow on the marble terrace. "You want to go home, Hitomi?" he asked bluntly.  
  
I was taken aback. "No! Of course not!" Oops.  
  
Van's lips turned up to produce a grin. Uh- oh.  
  
"Why is that?"  
  
"Well, uh, I like it here. I'm not ready to go home just yet." I quickly explained. Van's eyebrows shot up teasingly. "Oh, and why?"  
  
"It's none of your business to know." I snapped.  
  
Van's face broke into a frown. "Hey, I was only kidding."   
  
I pulled a lock of hair and tugged it. "Yeah, right. Why? I bet you want me to go home right now, don't you?" I said playfully.  
  
"Honestly, Hitomi, I--" he blushed.  
  
"Well?" I leaned against the terrace, looking at his adorably cute blushing face (what the Zaibach am I saying--) against the spilling moonlight.   
  
"I want you here."  
  
Shock.   
  
"What?"   
  
Van's cheeks rushed red. "No, what I mean is, you're good company. It would be kinda sad if you go home. You know..." his voice trailed off.  
  
"Yeah, right. Anyway," I turned to look at Van. My heart was fluttering because of his face that was only inches away from me. "I--"  
  
"...don't know if I ever want to go back."  
  
"Oh, yeah?"  
  
"Sure... I'm sure I'll-- MISS you if I did."  
  
Silence. It seems so dreadful now. Van smiled.  
  
"Me too."  
  
I knew we were talking silly. Deep down, though, I'm wondering if he really meant what he had said, or if I had MEANT what I said. I also wonder why am I thinking of these things too often. Maybe someday I'll get my answers.  
  
***  
  
Van led me to my room after a few minutes of talking (again, of none essential matters).   
  
"Good night, Hitomi. I--" he broke off as I watched in wonder as he sped down the hallway.  
  
  
OWARI (for now)  
  
***  
  
authoress' note:  
Heyy... yo'z up? NEwayz, hope you enjoyed this chapter. CRAPPY and SHORT, I know. Dang! Anyways, I hope to write more (soon). I got some WB disease in my head right now! My imagination is like... DUH! Ja ne, minna!-- WD10 


	4. Even Rhetorical Questions Need Answers

Chapter 4: Even Rhetorical Questions Need Answers  
  
  
I woke up too late that morning. Van and Merle had already gone to the village without me. I quickly hurried to eat my breakfast and made ready as soon as possible. I had a long run ahead of me. The village was quite a while from here.   
  
Maybe it would be exercise, too. I haven't ran for a long time. As soon as I could get outside, I ran all the way to the village.  
  
Van and Merle were visiting some of the sick people, while children crowded about them. I got there, panting breathlessly. "Hey, look! There's Hitomi!" Merle cried, and the childrne turned their heads to see.   
  
"H-hi." I said, still breathless. Van went over to me. "Hey, are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah." I gripped his arm to avoid falling over. "You got the nerve to leave me behind, huh?"  
  
Van held up his hand while a little girl offered me a glass of water. "Thank you," I smiled at the little girl, who laughed and ran away. I gulped it all down quickly.  
  
"As I was saying," I looked at him with a frown. "You and Merle had all the gall to leave me in- in that dungeon and let me run over here wasting my precious breath! How dare you?!"  
  
"Oh, c'mon, Hitomi, you're overacting." Van dug his hands in his pockets.  
  
"The problem is you're undereacting." I balled my fists playfully. "Want me to kick your ass?"  
  
"I wish." Van looked silly. Then we burst into laughter. Shucks.  
  
"So," I put my arm around him. "What's the action?"  
  
"We're visiting some sick people in here. Want to come?" Van held out his hand and I clutched it.  
  
We entered one house wherein an old woman lay sick in bed. "Lord Van..." the woman cried weakly. A woman was taking care in about her early thirties looked at him and asked. "Master Van, who's the little lady? Your girlfriend?"  
  
Oh, no... another one of those. Van blushed ten shades of red. "No. But I wish she was." He turned to the old woman to talk to her.  
  
I looked at him, stupfied. "Huh?" The woman laughed. "Ha, ha. That Master Van, he's always kidding. Don't mind him much, miss."  
  
But I was looking at him, his face kindly and compassionate as he talked to the sick woman. What did he mean by what he said-- "But I wish she was."?   
  
After some more minutes, Van faced me and said. "Well, that's just about it. I'll see you sometime soon." He was talking to the women.   
  
"Goodbye, Lord Van. May the gods be with you always."   
  
After stepping out of the house, Van called out. "Merle, let's go home!" Merle waved to the children. "Bye, kids! See you soon!" The children cheered. "Bye, Merle! Bye, Master Van! Bye, Hitomi! May the gods be with you always!"  
  
After the village was out of sight, I asked him. "Hey, um... Van, what did you mean just awhile ago-- in that old woman's hut?"   
  
Van's eyes widened. "Oh, that's nothing." Merle grinned.   
  
"Why, Hitomi? Are you hoping for anything, let's say-- BEING LORD VAN'S GIRLFRIEND?"   
  
I blushed. "No! What makes you say that?"  
  
"You're turning RED!" Merle said in a singsong voice. Van grinned sheepishly. "Cut that out, Merle."  
  
Then Van faced me. His eyes were burning through mine. "Look, Hitomi. Aren't you my girlfriend? You're a girl, and you're my friend... so, technically, you're my girlfriend!"   
  
(Have I heard this phrase somewhere?)  
  
"Yeah, right. So you're my boyfriend... 'cause you know, vice- versa?" I said, giggling. Merle looked on in confusion.  
  
"What's that?" she asked, almost yelling. "I don't get it!"  
  
Van and I looked at each other. Blushing, Van wrapped an arm around me. I leaned on his shoulder and put my arm around his waist.   
  
"See, Merle... we're boyfriend- girlfriend, aren't we, Hitomi?"  
  
"Yes, we are. Got that, Merle?"  
  
"Fine."   
  
*OWARI*  
  
__  
A/N: Oh, yeah, sure, whatever! 


	5. A Little More Won't Hurt

  
DON'T TELL ME  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 5: A Little More Won't Hurt  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Afternoon had settled over Gaea. Van and I were sitting under a huge Piscuss tree. I was staring above the horizon at the Mystic Moon, while Van was playing a tune with a leaf. The waxy, shrilly sounds tickled my ear as he played a soft lullabye.  
  
"Hey, what's that?" I asked as Van ended the last note.   
  
"That's a song Mother used to sing to me before I sleep."  
  
"What does it say? Can you sing it?" I asked, it being the first time I will hear Van sing.  
  
Van cleared his throat, and then looked at me straight in the eye as he sang:  
  
"Sleep o'ver the slumbering sea,  
Dream of a place where the angels be  
Until I'm dead, remember me...  
My love will be always be there for thee."  
  
I looked at him for a moment. His eyes were sadly downcast.   
  
"That's a sweet song." I said softly.  
  
"It is." Van threw away the leaf and looked far into the glowing horizon. He remembered his mother.  
  
"Mother..."  
  
"She was very good to you, wasn't she?" I laced my fingers into his. Van nodded and tightened his grip on my hand.   
  
"I know. She wouldn't have done a better job on you." I continued, giving him my sincerest smile.   
  
"Thanks." Van's ears turned pink.   
  
"I know your mother did, too."   
  
I began to become aware of his firm hand gripping my own. He held it as if for dear life, with no intention of letting go. It was strange, the way Van shows his sweet nature to me and to others. You never seem to know when and how. Unpredictable. I had seen him hug Merle. It was warm, loving and gentle. He was so deprived of affection since he was young, poor boy. In the back of my heart, I wanted to feel it. Being hugged by him. I wonder what was it like. I blushed at the thought.  
  
"Hitomi?" Van waved a hand in front of me.  
  
"Oh." I jumped out of my reverie. Van's face went closer up to mine. My heart beat faster. His warm eyes insinuated something that made my insides jump. Was he going to do what I think he'll do?  
  
"Your eyes are really beautiful, Hitomi." he said, pushing a lock of hair away from my face. Blood rushed to my already madly blushing cheeks, turning them wild rose pink in color. "They always make me feel better everytime I look at you."   
  
"Uh, er- thanks." I didn't know what to say. I felt totally awkward.   
  
Van moved away and sighed. I could almost feel that he was disappointed.   
  
"Want to go back to the castle now? Dinner might be early."  
  
Wait! I had to say something. I grabbed his hand as he rose. "Van, I--" I stammered, standing up and pushed myself closer to him. I opened my mouth, but no words would come out. Van's eyes were wide with surprise.   
  
What am I going to say? Once again, I was speechless. "Nothing."  
  
Van looked at the distance. "Well, then. Come on, let's go, Hitomi."  
  
*OWARI*  
  
___  
A/N: Noo! Why did Hitomi have to be soo tongue- tied? Anyways, the next chapter will be more heated up! (I planned to make them fight, you know...) But we'll see...  
  
STAY TUNED! JA NE, MINNA!!!  
  



	6. Suicidal Attempts Not Entertained

Don't Tell Me

Don't Tell Me 

CHAPTER 6: Romeo and Juliet? 

Whatever it is, I thought. I'm confused with what I feel. Every time he looks at me, I would feel uneasy my heart pounds fast. And I never felt like this before.

_ _

I went up to my room right after dinner. Tears were forming in my eyes, and I don't know why. Probably frustration, I thought, but with what? I kicked off my sneaker and climbed into bed, too wide-awake and full to fall asleep. My mind was overcrowded with confusing thoughts. 

_"Your eyes are really beautiful, Hitomi. They make me feel better every time I look at them."_

_ _

Van's voice echoed in my mind. What was he really trying to say? Everyday gets more confusing, I might as well go home. But then again, I just have to hang around to find out what's wrong with him. 

The light of the lamp burned low, making shadows flicker on the ceiling. My eyes were blurry and I was on the verge of sobbing. Things were getting more complicated that I couldn't handle it anymore. How could I? 

Just then, a soft knock sounded on the door. I quickly wiped away the tear that managed to creep out of my eye. Nobody would ever know I was crying foolish for Van. 

"Hitomi! Open up! I need to talk to you." Merle's voice shouted muffled outside.

"Come in," I managed to say without breaking out. 

With a click of the knob, Merle pounced on the bed. "Hey, Hitomi, were you crying?" she asked, noticing the slight redness of my eye. 

"No, I just yawned." I lied. 

"Don't go to sleep yet. I need to talk to you about Lord Van." she said in her cat-girl voice. I could feel my heart thump painfully in my chest. I nodded, and Merle continued.

"Lord Van likes you." Merle's eyes were big and blue. 

"Oh. Is that all?" I felt weak. He liked me-- for all I know, we're friends.

"IS THAT ALL? IS THAT ALL? DUH, HITOMI!" Merle cried out in a loud voice. "Why, Lord Van is _crazy _about you! He's really out of his mind these days. Sometimes, he doesn't even talk to me, because he's thinking of you so much! H- he wouldn't speak because he's afraid you might-- you might ignore him and-- reject him." 

"Ohh!" I exclaimed, tears stinging my eyes and my cheeks reddened. 

Merle looked as if she was about to cry, too. A hint of aggravation was in her voice. "H- he said… he will kill himself if- if…" Merle had burst into tears. 

Suddenly, my confusion turned to anger. Kill himself? Doesn't he know that Fanelia needs him? And with what reason, is it because I really do not understand him? I clenched my fists. "Shit," I muttered fiercely. "What a goddamned piece of shit!" I said that with so much force that Merle was wide- eyed with surprise. 

"W- what are you going to do?" Merle whispered as I went out the door, adamantly balling my fists. 

"I'm going to stuff some sense in his goddamned mind." Going up the dark stairs of the tower, I shook all over. Van doesn't have enough sense! 

Pushing the tower door open, I quickly sighted Van staring at his sword, now drawn from his scabbard. He was looking thoughtfully at the silver blade and running his finger on its edge.

"Lord Van…" Merle's voice whimpered in the dark. I went over to him and grabbed the sword. Van's eyes widened as I dropped it, the sword clattering on the castle roof… down to the ground. 

"What the hell did you do?" He shouted. 

"Damn it, Van. Just what were you thinking when you drew out that blade, huh?" My voice shook with anger. Van's eyes flashed angry red; his face hotly blushed crimson. 

"What's it to you? You don't care!" 

"But I do, Van. Will you just put some sense in your goddamn mind? Fanelia needs you, Merle needs you and I—," I stopped short, a lump forming on my throat. Van was still angry red.

"You what? I don't care what you think, Kanzaki." His lip quivered, but still remained unmoved. 

I felt a tear drop from my eye. "You son of a bitch," I muttered under my breath. "Fine! I don't care if you kill yourself! I wish you would!" I screamed at him, and then I fled.

Once safely inside my room, I was laughing and crying at the same time. It was all so stupid to me. But if Van decides to kill himself, let him be. "Selfish pig." I muttered hard that my throat cracked. "Shit." 

Which was all too well that night. I couldn't sleep, thinking of Van and my throat. 

**Owari**

A/N: There, chapter 6 finished. Anyways, I hope you find this good enough. It was a bit 'cussy' because I was in a terrible mood when I was writing. I was planning to—err… **suspense! **I'm getting a little dizzy after reading 'Without Armor' written by Savana08 (an author in here) **ya, know—yaoi and stuff. (Tsk, tsk! Bad girl!) : sigh:I have to tell you that Migel and Chesta is a really great couple!**(Don't mind me. I'm just so bad!) 

Til then, c'ya till the next chapter!

JA NE, MINNA-CHANS AND KUNS!!! ^_^V

-wd10 tm… all rights reserved. 2001


	7. Impulse

  
  
  
  
Don't Tell Me  
  
  
  
Chapter 8- Impulse  
  
  
  
  
The next day, Van was up and feeling better. Although he still felt weak and had a number of headaches, he was okay. He was in slight fever that afternoon, and we were sitting on the castle steps. His head was on my lap, and with that all too familiar feverish flush on his cheeks. I raked my fingers through his hair and cheeks while Van murmured contentedly.  
  
"That... feels...nice." he said, his eyes droopy with pleasure. I smiled. "I wasn't a track member for nothing." I replied. Whenever any of our teammates got a headache, I was the one treating them. So no wonder where I got the experience.  
  
"You really have healing hands, Hitomi," he continued, fluttering his eyes open to look at me. The black- wine colored glow in his eyes was going straight into my heart.   
  
"Thanks."   
  
Silence continued as I moved on.   
  
"Do you want to go home right now?" he asked.  
  
"Um, not really. Why?"  
  
"I mean, I was such a jerk and--"  
  
"Hush, Van. You know we're friends. And friends forgive each other. I- I want to stay for a while because- because I know I'll have a hard time getting used to home again."  
  
His eyes glowed beautifully as he spoke.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Gaea is my second home. You know that. You and me-- we're friends... very close friends. It would be hard to leave you."  
  
Van sighed deeply. Then he smiled.  
  
"Me too. I know I'll be sad if you go away. You-- you've done so much for me, and I couldn't thank you enough," he quivered as he spoke, and sat up straight.   
  
"Don't mention it." I smiled happily as I took his hands and played with it. It was much nicer when he wasn't wearing gloves. His warm hands were soft to the touch, like feathers.  
  
"Hitomi..."  
  
"What?" I said, turning to face him.  
  
"I was just thinking... what if I go to your world?"  
  
"It would be great. I'm sure my friends would like you."  
  
"I never had enough friends." He looked sad.  
  
"That's why I'm here. For you."   
  
"Yeah, I know. That's why it doesn't matter anymore."   
  
I leaned my head on his shoulder. The sunset glowed fiery red in the Gaean sky. I never felt happier in my life.  
  
Van looked at the orange orb in the sky. Then he whispered something to himself. I didn't know what he had said, but it was enough that I could feel.  
  
Owari  
  
  
___  
A/N: Awww, wasn't THAT sweet? No, she didn't hear it. It was like mental telepathy. How nice. And I'm sorry the chapter was short... but sweet! You know, better short and sweet rather than long and sour? WHAT AM I THINKING? Anyways, I know they just have to kiss and get it over with, ne? But WAIT... Patience is a virtue. Heh, what am I saying? Ja ne, minna! C'ya round!  
  
  
PS: Let's see... what if Van and Hitomi had kissed in the series? @_@;; (you know, Episode 24?) NAH!!!  
  
  
PPS: I noticed-- chapter 6's title is supposed to be REALLY 'Sucide Attempts Are Not Entertained' not 'Romeo and Juliet?'. Tsk, tsk. Stupid me, eh! But then again... you know how I am.   



	8. Irony and Pondering

DON'T TELL ME

DON'T TELL ME

Chapter 9- Irony and Pondering

I found it hard to sleep that night. The wind eerily blew in through my window. The candlelight flickered the shadows on the ceiling. I had been tossing and turning for the last half- hour, trying to find a comfortable spot on my bed. Disturbing thoughts had invaded my mind, making it harder to sleep. 

It was a night that I feel so alone.

I decided to get up. Better have a walk around the castle, or go to the tower. Or do something that will make you sleepy, or at least have a peace of mind. Closing the creaking wooden door behind me, I quickly padded my way to the tower. The air was getting tight and suffocating, I need some fresh air.

I reached the tower without anybody seeing me. Stepping out from the tower to the castle roof, my eyes diverted to a lone figure looking at the Mystic Moon. Van turned to face me, a smile turning up his lips. I immediately went and sat beside him. 

"Hey, Hitomi," he said. "What are you doing here?"

"Just went out to get some air," I replied, "It's getting stuffy in there." I jabbed my thumb against my shoulder. "How 'bout you, getting some air, too?"

"Yeah, and to think. It's hard to concentrate down there."

"I see." Then after that everything was silent for a while.

"So," Van began, his face still directed to the sky. "Tell me more about the Mystic Moon. I've always wanted to see the land where my mother was born. Sadly, I cannot. She died too soon, as you well know." His voice lowered at the last sentence.

"Must have been hard for you." I said sympathetically.

"Yeah. But let's talk about something else. You didn't answer my question earlier." Van's eyes turned to penetrate through mine.

"Us? Well, it's very much the same yet it's different." I couldn't find words.

"In what way?"

"Oh, you know. Animal people, guymelefs, we don't have that on Earth." I shrugged. "Only pets, cars and computers. But just the same, we run our lives very normal. We eat, we work, and we sleep…"

Van looked at the Mystic Moon again. "Are there wars in your place?"

"Yes, but that phase in history is over now." 

"Phase of—what?"

"Oh, never mind. We have some customs and traditions, too. Some are weird stuff…" 

"We have those 'customs' too." Van smiled. "Like the dragon- slaying ritual."

We exchanged smiles as we recalled the first time we met.

"It's the thing I'm most likely to remember forever." I laughed.

"Hey, I'll never forgive you for slapping me in my face. That hurt." Van said, making a face.

"Yeah, right. As if I'd slap you if you didn't act like a jerk." I giggled sarcastically at him.

"I was only doing my duty!" Van said, half- serious.

"Of being a jerk? Come on, my dear friend, let us stop this foolishness." I said dramatically, adopting a serious face.

We were both laughing hard now, at the irony of the situation before us. We didn't very much imagine we would become friends. Or maybe something more than… that…

What am I thinking?

Van stopped laughing and asked, his voice serious now. "What did you think of me when we first met?"

Might as well say the truth. "You were a jerk. How 'bout me?"

"I thought you're really amazing." Van simply answered me, his eyes directly staring at mine.

"Oh, really? Er—what made you say that?"

"I wouldn't have slain the dragon if not for you."

"But that's not what you said."

"I didn't want to say it. I was too—proud and selfish… and a jerk, like you said. But if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here right now—alive… and with you." His face was flushed pink.

I don't know, but tears suddenly sprang at my eyes without any reason at all. Maybe because I was touched at his confession—that he was grateful I helped him and I didn't know all this time.

"Thanks…" 

"Me too." Van got up and offered his hand. "Come on, let's go."

"Yeah," I gripped his hand and pushed myself up. "I'm catching cold already. But if it wasn't too balmy out here I would have talked to you for hours."

Van smiled. "Yeah, me too." 

We walked slowly to our rooms, silently so as not to wake anybody up. When we reached my door as was about to go in, Van hauled me into a big, warm bear hug. 

"Good night, Hitomi. Sweet dreams," he whispered in my ear.

He didn't let go for a quite a while, about three minutes or so. I was getting out of breath with him cutting my air supply short.

"Er—Van, I can't breathe." I wheezed out. Van immediately pulled away.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Van said, quite shamefacedly. He looked like he was about to say something else, but he turned back and ran into the darkness.

___

A/N: Wasn't that just soo cute? What was he going to say, anyway? BTW, I wrote this while listening to 'Sora' on my Win amp player. Her voice is just so… mystical. Sorta like Atlantean in vibe… I love it! Especially the 'La la la la la la la la la' part, it sounds so 'ethereal' or something sort of like that. Anyways, hope to catch ya up!

Ja ne, minna- san! 

Wd10 © 2001 all rights reserved. 

I do not own Escaflowne.

*** 


	9. Stolen Moment (?)

Don't Tell Me

Don't Tell Me

Shiroi Ryuu_10

Chapter 10—Stolen Moment 

Morning had never felt so good. Last night was… and will always be; leaving me into some sort of secret happiness. I felt totally different now, and Gaea seemed to take part in my jubilee. I quickly jumped out of bed and fixed myself. Some impulse told me to look out of the window, so I did. My heart jumped as I saw Van and Merle on the lawn, stretching their limbs towards the sun. Van's raven hair shone in the sunlight and Merle's raged flaming red. My nerves were breaking out like crazy; probably because of my good mood or probably of something else I couldn't understand.

"Van! Up here!" I called out. Van and Merle spun around and waved at me. 

"Morning!" Van sang out and smiled. He definitely looked cuter to me now. Merle waved her arms in the air. "C'mon, Hitomi, come down out here!"

"Wait! I'll be right there!" 

In a few seconds I was rushing towards them. I went into Van's outstretched arms and he gave me a hug. He smelled of fresh morning dew and newly- fallen rain. My heart was pumping excitedly and my cheeks stained red. When Van hugs me, I never felt so good. He was like a newfound addiction, something like a drug. Always leaving me wanting for more… and more…

Merle had been jumping up and down excitedly. "How 'bout it if we go to Jiian's Point today, huh, Lord Van?" 

"Hey, that would be great, Merle." Van ran a hand through his hair. "What do you say, Hitomi?" 

I nodded. "I guess it could be fun."

So all three of us went to Jiian's Point, what Fanelia considered as the coolest hangout for teenagers. It looked like an amusement park, only that the rides were much different—dragons and giant birds they called Frisias. They looked some sort of like blue phoenixes that could carry at least fifteen people at a time. There were a lot of booths, too. 

Van and Merle looked around like children. Then Merle excitedly jumped up and down. "C'mon, let's go try the beano booths!" Van took my hand and we ran to the nearest booth. A hawk man was behind the counter, tapping the surface with his knobby claws. His face lit up when he saw us. 

"Hello, there Lord Van." The hawk man smiled at us with his big beak. "So whose with ya? Ain't it the li'l catgirl—say, who's the gal, Mester Van?" He looked at me and nodded.

"Hitomi Kanzaki, sir. She's from the Mystic Moon."

"The Mystic Moon, eh? Well, I hope ya enjid your stay in here. Ya see, we was in the war a little lately. How d'ya find Fanelia, li'l lady?" The hawk man rubbed his sharp beak and looked at me with round eyes.

"It's a beautiful place, sir. The people are friendly…" 

The hawk man slapped his claws on the table. "Hah! I thought so. There's none other place like Fanelia, yiserrie! 'Course, with Mester Van as the king, what could go wrong? So like his father, am I rightee, Your Majesty?"

"I sure hope so, Mr. Hawk- Man, sir."

The hawk man handed Van a pail of beanbags. "Here, sire. Since yar the King o' Fanelia and ma first customer, you getta shoot at th' figurines fo free."

"Thank you, sir." Even in fairs, Van talked formally.

Then he turned to face me. "Wanna have a go?"

"Err—okay," I said and Van handed me the bucket. I aimed at the figurines carefully, and then I threw the beanbag at it. A clatter of clay sounded as the figurine broke. After fifteen more tosses, I gave the pail to Van.

"You're pretty good." 

"'Course I am." 

"Betcha I can do better. How 'bout a hundred tosses?" Van had a gleam in his eye.

"Fine, then. How much?" 

"I'll tell you later." Van turned to face the new set of figurines. Merle was shouting, "Go, Lord Van! You can do it!"

Maybe because Merle was yelling and cheering, a lot of people came running to see. A hundred tosses was a new record in Fanelia's beanbag- tossing history. And if Van could do it, he'd be the biggest beanbag champion in all of Gaea. 

"Ready?" I asked. 

"Bring it on." Van replied.

"GO!" 

In the next ten minutes, the sound of clattering clay and the shouts of people filled the air. A chorus of counting had already begun.

"Eighty nine, ninety, ninety- one, ninety- two, ninety- three, ninety- four, ninety- five, ninety- six, ninety- seven, ninety-eight…"

"Ninety- nine…"

Van tossed the last beanbag with a flourish. "One hundred!" He yelled triumphantly. 

The crowd let out a tremendous roar. Van did it! He broke the beanbag tossing record! I wonder how much will I pay him… I only had three hundred yen in my wallet since I left Earth.

Van was covered with sweat as he went over to me. "What do you think?" 

"You were… awesome."

"I never even thought I could do it, you know."  
  


"But you did."

"I have to."

"Why?"

"I had wanted to be the beanbag champion since I was a kid… but I was not allowed to go—since my parents died. Being a prince can be so hard, too. I haven't time to relax since the war ended." Van ran a hand through his hair. "And if I didn't make it, I wouldn't win the bet."

"You took that bet seriously, huh?"

"Yeah, because you'll have to pay back." 

"So how much?"

"This." Then Van leaned over and gave me a quick, hard kiss. My heart almost stopped beating and my eyes widened.

"Whoa." 

Van's cheeks were flushed pink. The crowd was too overjoyed to see us, thank goodness. His eyes were smiling. 

"That's the payment."

I couldn't help but feel a pleasant sensation. I almost never remembered how it felt when Van kissed me, because it was like two seconds when it happened. 

"Come on, let's get Merle. I want to go ride the Frisias."

Was he serious about the kiss, or is it just for fun? I could never tell. I tried to read his mind while we rode the Frisia… unfortunately, I read nothing in particular. Only a look of quiet victory was on his face. 

Being Gaea's beanbag champion must've really meant a lot to him.

OWARI 

A/N: Hehehehe… at least Van had kissed her already. 

_Hitomi: Could you make it real this time?_

_Shiroi: Oh, come on, Hitomi. Do you really want that?_

_Van: I don't know what really entered my mind then…_

_Shiroi: Baka! This is my fic, okay?_

_Merle: How come I don't have much appearance in this fic?_

_Shiroi: It's a V/H fic, you know._

_Merle: But…_

_Van: You know, Shiroi's right, Merle. This is a V/H fic… Hey Shiroi, could you try to make one fic 'bout Dilandau and me? _

_Shiroi: YAOI? _

_Van: (blushes and doesn't say anything.)_

_Hitomi: You mean you like Dilandau more than me?_

_Merle: I knew there was something in that pyro before…_

_Van: (kneels in front of Shiroi) Please? Please?_

_Shiroi: I don't know… Hey, have you read 'When No One Is Looking'? That one was one of your stupid requests! V/A! And now you want me to write one 'bout you and Dilly? (shakes her head)_

_Hitomi: Are you… gay?_

_Van: NO!_

_ _

_ _

_ _


	10. Love and Firelight

Don't Tell Me  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 11-- Love and Firelight  
  
  
  
It rained that night. I was in my room listening to the rain patter against the window panes. The low rumble of thunder could be heard far away, and echoed back from the mountains. My room was dreary and cold, although there was warm glow from the fireplace. The shadows flickered on the ceiling, forming dark animated shapes, making me a little scared. I sighed loudly and turned to face the window. Nights in Gaea can be so lonely. I wish somebody's here with me.  
  
I wonder, are there any people lonely right now? People-- the maids, the villagers, the children, the workers... are they lonely? In this castle-- are there people lonely? And Van -- is he lonely? Probably not. Merle is there with him.   
  
My heart hurts a lot but I don't know why. It's some sort of pain that pierces your heart and never goes away until your eyes fill with tears. Like it was always meant to make you cry.   
  
The rain poured harder than ever. The fire was getting weaker, for I have not the strength to put a log into the fire. I got up and opened the door. The corridor was all black, except for the Mystic Moon shining at the end of the hall. I closed it again, half out of fear and half out of discouragement. I felt my heart pierce again and my head whirled with adrenaline. I leaned against the door, feeling my heart tear itself as tears streamed down my face. Gods... it hurts. It really hurts.  
  
I seemed to have sat there for hours, crying my heart out in bitter pain I couldn't even understand. I never felt so alone in my life, especially this night. Was it going to have to be always be this way?   
  
A soft knock sounded behind me. I wiped my tears and sniffed. Maybe it was just the maid checking to see if I'm all right, I thought bitterly. I slowly opened the door, ashamed to show my face, since I look all red and pitiful after I cry. My heart skipped two beats when I saw Van, wet and dripping to the skin.   
  
My face changed its expression from sadness to surprise. "Van! What happened to you?"   
  
Van produced a small cluster of violets in his hand. Merle told me once that violets grow only in the most elusive places in Gaea... like near mountains and deep cliffs. I gasped softly and blushed, thinking of how much Van had gone through just to bring them to me.  
  
"I was out getting these for you, but the rain caught on me..."  
  
"Come in," I ushered him near the fire and put a fresh supply of logs in the fireplace. I placed the flowers on an empty vase by the bed. "Sit down," I ordered. My heartache was suddenly gone. First things first. I tugged at the strings of his red shirt. "Off."  
  
Van blushed. "But--"  
  
"No buts, okay? You don't want to get sick. I sure don't." I said quickly.  
  
Immediately Van obeyed. I took the shirt to hang near the fire. When I turned around, my pulse quickened when I saw his lean chest and slim, broad shoulders. His raven locks were hanging carelessly over his ember eyes. His mouth was twisted with the smile of an innocent child.   
  
My eyes flew on his bare skin. There were many bruises and cuts on his arms, shoulders and stomach. Dried blood stains from thorns, branches and rocks covered the edges of the wounds, making it visible in the firelight.  
  
I flew immediately at his side and touched a scar near his forehead. "Van..."  
  
Van's eyes looked at me, full of pain and undescribable hurt. My hand travelled from one bruise to another. All that... for me. I could feel a tear roll down my cheek.   
  
"You shouldn't have gotten those violets for me... "  
  
Van smiled. "I'm okay, really." But when I touched the wound on his chest his face flushed and tears shone in his eyes.  
  
"No, you're not." I rose up took some iodine in my duffel bag.   
  
"What's that?"  
  
"It's iodine. Used to heal wounds and stuff."  
  
"Oh..." Van made a face. "Does it hurt?"  
  
"No." I knelt in front of him, dabbing some on my hand. "Now, shh."  
  
My fingers rubbed on the iodine gently on his skin. Van's mouth was in a tight line but his eyes still stared at me. I flushed deeper red. As I started to rub on his chest, he jumped grimacingly. I guessed it was the part that hurt most.   
  
"Keep still..."  
  
My hand directly flew over on the wound on his forehead. Rubbing it ever so gently, I almost jumped when my eyes met his. It shone like glowing coals in the dark. I felt his breath as he drew closer to me, smelling of sweet rain and dusky purple haze. His left hand slowly lay on my cheek. "Hitomi..."  
  
"Don't say anything..." I silenced him, putting my finger on my lips.  
  
Van removed my finger gently from my mouth and locked his lips on mine. My heart raced faster and jumped excitedly. Electricity surged up from the pit of my back to my neck. Van pulled me until we fell over, I falling on top of him. The shadows danced with passion as we kissed harder, rhythm present through the firelight's shadows and the falling rain.   
  
"Now... why did you do that?!" I said, after I pulled back. Van shrugged his shoulders and grinned.  
  
"I don't know" he said, looking at me in the eye.  
  
"Oh, really?" I snapped jokingly.  
  
"Yeah, really." Van said in a mocking challenging voice.   
  
"Yeah, right!" I shot back, my sides shaking with laughter at the whole dialogue.  
  
Van inched closer and gave me a long, hard kiss that swept my breath away. "Why are you asking me? You're the one who went closer!"  
  
"Nope... you did."  
  
Van smiled wickedly. "Prove it."  
  
"It doesn't need to be proved!"  
  
Van placed his mouth over my neck. He sucked gently, making me squeal with surprise and delight. (Tsk, tsk.)  
  
"Now what was that squeal all about?" Van asked me, a grin spreading over his face.  
  
"VAN!" I screamed, half- dizzy with confusion and passion.  
  
Van bent down and continued to suck. The smacking sounds his lips made drove me crazy. I pressed my fingers hard on his bare back.  
  
"Oww!"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Van grinned devilishly and made a long, drawing suckle on my neck. The one that made me moan loud enough to echo through the whole room.   
  
"Van..." I whispered, feeling my excitement growing more and more every second. Van looked up and smushed my lips with his. "Shh, Hitomi. You're going to wake everybody up."  
  
"Mmphh-mmmh," I muffled, trying to speak through the hindrance.   
  
Van's eyes sparked passion as he slid his tongue into my mouth.  
  
"VAN!"  
  
He pulled back. "What?" His voice was sweet and innocent.  
  
"Stop it for a sec-- we've been kissing in here but I'm not done with your wounds yet."   
  
"They're already healed," he murmured, dropping a butterfly kiss on my cheek.  
  
I got out from under him and returned to practicalities. "I'll just bandage them up, okay?" Van pouted, crossing his arms over his chest, but he complied anyway.   
  
"There." I patted his chest as soon as I finished. "It will take more time to heal, but it's okay. You're going to be just right."  
  
Van smiled and took up my hand. "You've always been the best nurse I ever knew."  
  
"Yeah, I know." I grinned at him mockingly.  
  
Van smirked. "You don't suffer from modesty."  
  
"Geez, I was just joking."  
  
"I know that."  
  
"No you don't," I said, falling gently on top of him.  
  
"Yes, I do," Van whispered in a singsong voice, rolling over, his weight falling on me.   
  
"Oh, yeah?"   
  
"Mm..." he nodded slightly, kissing me hard on the lips. My hands run wildly through his feather soft hair. I could feel his heart thump rhythmically in a slow, steady beat.  
Everything was covered with gilded ecstasy. My hands slowly found their way on his back, and felt the firmness of his muscles and the softness of his skin. Fire shot through my veins, burning my very last ounce of doubt and fear away. Being with him, to touch him, to taste him, was all I ever needed in life. Van pulled back slightly, his sweet breath gently warming my already blushing face. I ran my fingers on his hair, and looked hard into his eyes.   
  
"So why did you kiss me?" I asked, although I knew perfectly well why. Van's face flushed red.  
  
"Because..." he started to say.  
  
I went wicked. "Is it because you love me, or don't you?" I said in a threatening voice.   
  
"Yeah, something like that."  
  
"Then say it..." I laced my fingers around his neck and led his face closer.  
  
"Hitomi... I don't have to say it. You already know."  
  
"But I need to hear it from YOU."  
  
Van pressed his lips hard on mine. "I..."  
  
Then he made his way to my neck. "love..."  
  
With a long, passion- filled suck on my neck, he breathed hard. "YOU!"  
  
My lips found their way to his. A hot, flowing liquid gushed at my veins, filling me with intensity. His words were all that meant to me right now. Nobody could ever take him away from me. He was mine, and will be forever. The way he looks at me, his touch, his kiss, would be forever captured in my memory.   
  
I drew back slowly, savoring every move he made as I looked into his eyes. Van's eyelids drooped sleepily over his eyes.  
  
"How about you?" He said, huskily, touching the outline of my lips with his forefinger.   
  
"What about me?"  
  
"Do you love me, Hitomi?" His voice was sleepy and innocent.  
  
"You?" I cocked my eyelids and frowned. "W--elllll..."  
  
"Well-- what?" He whispered sweetly into my ear.  
  
"Argh, Van..."   
  
"Come on, Hitomi."  
  
"Love you, Van."  
  
"That's all?"  
  
"Yup. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you..."  
  
Van sat up and looked intently at the fire. His eyes glowed like coals in the dark. Then he faced me.   
  
"D'you think this would work?"  
  
"Oh, let's see..." I said in a serious tone. "I'll do anything to make it work."  
  
"Me too."  
  
I looked hard into his eyes. "Promise?"  
  
Van smiled and kissed me again. "Promise."  
  
___  
A/N: Now what do you call that? That's cheese for you! Anywayz... this chapter took so long, I'm sorry. I'm experiencing emotional trauma right now and I'm so busy with projects and stuff. All events that happened in this chapter is quite umm... opposite with what's happening to me right now.   
  
GEEZ...  
  
To Iden, sorry for chapter 10!   
Hey, PA, sowee this took so long!  
  
CIAO!  
  
shiroi  
  



	11. In Sunsets

Chapter 12

Chapter 12— In Sunsets

_ _

_ _

It just struck five on the tower clock of the Fanelian town hall.Meeting had adjourned, and I was waiting for Van outside with Merle.He emerged from behind the heavy wooden door with a look of satisfaction on his face.Merle and I jumped up from our seats and went over to him.

"Hey, Van!How did the meeting go?" I asked him as he gave me a hug.

Van grinned happily. "The council agreed to let me off for three weeks!"

Merle happily jumped up and down."Great, Lord Van!"

Van was finally getting _serious_ vacation.All months of work had been so exhausting for him.

"So, how 'bout a quiet day in the countryside?" he suggested, and got hold of my hand.

I glanced sideways at Merle, and Merle grinned back.Then Merle spoke up.

"Uh, Lord Van, I'm afraid I can't join you two."

Van frowned. "Why?"

Merle gave Van a squeeze."Talia asked me to come over to the village."Talia was a cat woman who worked in the village as a charms vendor.

"Oh, I see.Take care, okay?"

"Yeah, Lord Van!"Merle gave me a squeeze, too.Then she hopped away.

Van faced me."What's into her?"

I shrugged."Seems that Talia has a new cat boy with him."

Van laughed."Some sort of feline attraction thing?"

"Yeah, sort of.I guess Merle is starting to get mature."

Van stared wistfully at her back."She's gotten so old."

I punched him lightly on the forearm."Van, stop your reminiscing.You're like some kind of father or something."

"I mean, she isn't like she used to be.She used to climb all over me until she got what she wanted.Y'know… stuff like that," Van ruefully smiled at me and sighed.

_Yeah, it's really different when somebody grows and changes then leaves you behind._

"Van…" I started to say as we walked down the road back to the castle.

"You know Merle will always be with you—as your friend and sister."

He sighed again."I know.Growing up is just another part of life, right? We just have to give it in, even if it would cost us a lot.I- I don't know what I'd do without you, Hitomi.Making me realize important things like that."

I patted him on the back and gave him a smack on the cheek."Hey, it's all for you, you know that.You made me realize some things, too."

Van cocked his eyebrows quizzically."Yeah? Like what?"

"You made me realize just how important something could be, even the littlest thing.You know, when I wake up in the morning it doesn't really pain me to think that I'm in Gaea and I'm so far away from home like I did before.Those 'things', like picnics and arguments and pain, no matter how small, led me to realize that Gaea could be my second home."

"Really, huh? Remember that day we went to the falls?"Van laughed out loud.

"Shut up, I'm trying to be serious here."

I looked at the sparkle of the afternoon clouds before us.Never had I felt happy and sad at the same time.It was overwhelming… everything.

"Look at the sunset. It's gorgeous."Van pointed at the flaming crimson sky. 

"Yeah."My voice was hoarse. I stepped in front of him.

"Hey, you're blocking the view." 

"VAN!"

"Kidding."He stooped a little and smushed my lips with his own. 

"Eeyuck, Van, you're slobbering all over me."

"I was just trying to reconcile, okay?" He made a face and pretended to puke at me.

I looked at the sky again.Everything was strangely quiet.Only the soft rustling of leaves was heard. 

"Van…" 

He stopped clowning and put an arm around me.

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever wondered about sunsets?"

"Sometimes.I wonder where is the farthest point in the horizon is."

We stood still for a moment.

"You know what?Sunsets make me feel lonely and sad and happy at the same time.It's crazy, I know.But have you ever wondered what could've been happening to other people at sunsets… like now?Somebody might have been born instead of the usual dawn.Somebody might have confessed his or her love to one another.Others might have their hearts broken.Y'know, sunsets, like dawn, are the beginning and the end of some things.Sunsets have something the dawn could never have.It just depends on your mood… or your emotions then."

Van listened, his eyes glued on my face.

"And somewhere in this sunset… somebody might have died." 

I looked at him for a moment, taking everything of him in me.His last lines were a proof that he understood me, that he would be a friend and a lover to me at the same time.It often takes a long time to understand somebody to the fullest, and with him, I knew I was understood inside out.

"Hitomi?"I heard and saw his eyes speak to me through my soul.It was full of something I realized only a long while ago.

"Don't tell me.I know."I smiled and kissed him.

**~end don't tell me~**

** **

A/N: and that, folks, is the end of 'Don't Tell Me'. I am sorry if it's not fluffy like you wanted it to be… although I wanted it to be like, fluff and fluff… there's something hindering me to do it.Maybe it's because my mood is too philosophical at the moment, and maybe because I just learned a lot from a personal experience which happened to me just a couple of weeks ago.It's just amazing how one personal experience affect one's view on life.Anyways, thank you for those who stuck to me for the whole story.Phantom Angel, Pretty Senshi, Iden, Camille, Embyr, Oki Miya, redflye and the whole lot of the other reviewers. You know who you are, and you've all been great encouragement for me to **at last** finish this fic.We pulled it through! Yehey! Again, I'm really sorry of the unfluffyness.I assure you more fluff for my next fics.And I think you think that this is pretty darn open- ended… so like Escaflowne.I noticed myself I write pretty confusing stories with really out- of- this- world endings. Other people in this site had told me so, and yet stubborn little me keeps on doing it.I think I'm pouring out my self- criticisms in here already, just so you know what to pinpoint on me the next time.I promise to stick to a plot and not write spontaneously so as not to confuse you people again.But sometimes, the very best ideas come spontaneously at you like a fart, right? Yuck. Well, excuse me, peeps!I'm weird, I know. Well anyways, I _will_ move on to **graphical** fics for the next time… and for those thinking perverse thoughts… judge for yourself in my future stories.

This is getting too long. 

REMEMBER: Escaflowne lives forever through our fanfics! YEHEY!

As of now, take care people! Cya on the next fic!

_Shiroi Ryuu_ © 2001


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